Resuscitation of my 'collapsed' blog..

It's been EEEOOONSSS since i posted anything here.
Probably wont have any of my 'avid fans' from the past readin now.. hahaa..
Most would have given up by now..

Decided to resuscitate my 'collapsed' blog..
N hopefully it'll not collapse again.. hehh..

Past mths been busy...
Work has been exhausting and overwhelming...
Personal life has too many things happening...
N with all these happening, gave up on bloggin here..
Neglected some pple in the process too i realise..
Haven met up with many pple.. When in the past, i would have..
Now... since my return.. i've become more bochup..

*** Life @ Work ***
I enjoy work immensely..
Its tiring, its exhausting, its annoying at times..
But the joy i get from working with my patients.. Gives me boundless motivation.
In addition, I love my colleagues.. It's marvellous being able to go to work.. Be urself..
Speak freely..No politics..No back-stabbing..What u see is what u get..
Sincere colleagues who are not just working buddies but frens too..
The support and warmth and love i feel working with these nutty pple makes me feel that everything is worth it. Regardless of how hard work can be..

Currently, many changes happening at work..
Initially, i was resistant to change.. But now, ive learnt n self-talked myself to accept watever comes. N to do my best in whatever area im covering.. Of crse hopefully, im covering smth i enjoy la.. I lvoe workin with the elderly.. I think i have yelled that out loud enough for the whole world to hear.. haaa... Yet i also dont mind working with Hands..
It's confusing.. I leave it up to God to decide.. hahaa....
I will jsut accept n make the best out of it.
No matter what, i know my colleagues are great.. N that more than makes up for any other things im not too excited about..


*** Personal Life ***
Nothing new.. Still gallivanting ard and going out partying now and then.
Definitely not like before.. Definitely lesser.. Im more homely now.. (groanss..)
I still enjoy my occasional nites of maddness with cindy..
Still enjoying the nitelife now and then.. More jaded in fact.
Also realised, my taste in things have changed..
1yr away changed alot... Myself..

Granny passed away in feb.. It hurt greatly.
I was there to watch her go.. There the days she was in hospital..
For a period of time after she passed on, i could still remember vividly everything..
Each time i passed the ward she was in, tears would form..
Holding back the tears was hard.. At work daily, i remembered.
Now im ok.. Granny had a peaceful departure.. Im glad i was there.
Glad to be able to fulfil watever duties i could as her granddgt.
Memories of how she would shield us frm mom's whackings and give us pocket money to buy titbits when we were young came to mind..
The granny i hold dearly.. The only granny i treasure.
It woke me up to many things.. How fragile and sudden life is..

Dad's health is another thing bothering me..
Recently, his heart gave him problems again..
Now he's suppose to go for an operation to replace the heart valves.
In a matter of 2mths, running personal trips to hospitals is a tad too frequent.
N each trip concerns pple i love dearly.
Each time im stressed.. Cuz the job of 'knowin' the condition and situation lies on me.
I worry i cant do my best.. I cant give the best help..
I worry im not doing enough..
Constantly im wonderin 'wat else is there'.. Pre-empting things..
At times, i wish i could be of more use.. Financially.

*** Me ***
I'm becomin more of a loner.. Or i shld say, my days of 'loner-ness' in melb remains..
I miss melb.. I miss my life there.. Miss being away alone.
Miss being able to be free and myself...
The restrains and socials norms here are starting to take effect on me..
Im starting to be less confident of myself n do what i want.. Im startin to doubt n hold back.
I shld go away. Till im sick of beig away, then i return.

I've learnt to let go of the past. To finally after so long, let go.
To finally move on ahead and no longer harbour any thots and possibilities.
That person no longer exists in my life.

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Boring... Talking abt my boring life now... after so long..
ewwww.... Currently, im feeling bit on the low side..
Thus the entry aint too chirpy..
Shld not be showing it out.. I have to keep looking positive and cheerful..

Only when im alone..