judgement

I don’t like to be judged. Sayin this does not mean that I just got judged by someone etc la..
It is just, im thinking about some stuff..

I guess one main reason why I enjoy my time in Aust in this past one year is that..
I get the freedom to do and lead my life and not have to think about what ‘pple think’.
I don’t feel so restrained and conscious.. I can just be myself..
I dont think i belong to a 'typical girl' category in the sense of the way i think and the way i behave.. Only a few pple in my life really understands me and not judge.. N u guys knw who u are as i have told u before.. haa...
And as I m feelin more free and less conscious of myself and what I do, I m returning to an environment where I have to be conscious again..
N I really would hate it.

People judge.. People comment.. People stereotype.
One good example would be my love to party..
I admit that I love the nightlife.. I love going to clubs.
I love the vibe, the groove, the jive, the atmosphere and stuff there..
I do not think it will change much as I age..
I may go lesser But I know I will still go.
Cuz I love the music and to dance. I love the air, the excitement..
Especially with pple who enjoy havin good clean fun.. its just great.
That’s why I love the nightlife. N not cuz of the drinks n stuff..
As all know that I DO NOT drink, smoke nor indulge in any of those vices.

But I know that some people don’t see it that way. They see clubs as bad places.
U hang out there, u hang out with bad crowd.
U are not serious and still partying around and fooling around and wasting your life away.
I cant deny that clubs are a breeding place for less-than-good things to happen and all.
But I have been partying since I was….19.. N I have nvr got into any trouble.
I know what I am doing.
I just wish at times, people wont judge me cuz of smth I enjoy doing.
N it is just not done in daylight and is not the best place to be.

Does having a playful nature mean that I cant be serious too and that im wasting my life away?
I don’t think so.
I prefer the ‘been there done that’ life..
Than a proper life doing things that I want to do but don’t dare to do cuz its wrong.
And when I am old one day, to look back and regret that I have not tried this and that. And i do not want to be restricted to a timeline..
Which i am now..sighh..
U live life once.. And I do not like regrets.
Falling down is part of life and thou it hurts a lot..
I like to go thru at times too.. Hahaa..
This past one yr.. Have opened me up a lot in various aspects..
Whether it is good or bad.. I just know that I have grown and am no longer the same..

At times, I don’t want to return to Spore cuz I don’t want to revert back to being self-conscious and stereotyped.
Then again.. At times, what hurts most is actually people close to me who stereotype me..
I would just want people to be more open-minded and see things from my seemingly ‘warped perspective’…